I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
