took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
