how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
