does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
