Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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