He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
