and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
