You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
