I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
