I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
