Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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