I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
