you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Btw I puked in your glovebox
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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