i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
now i know why i became what i already was.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
