i was rollin on her like bob the builder
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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