I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I will be naked everywhere
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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