The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize