Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
