Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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