So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize