All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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