drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
