dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
