My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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