I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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