Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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