He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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