I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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