I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
is it fun? or sober?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
