She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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