I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize