There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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