How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
vagina is talking i cant
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
