If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
