Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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