he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
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I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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