we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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