Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
