I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
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I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
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Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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