Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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