Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
