Duck Duck Cougar?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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