I think I died a long time ago.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
