well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
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Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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