i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
