It was confusing and full of hummus
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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