Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
