a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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