I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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