Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
