Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
