There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
