No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
