She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
