WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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