so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
farters have to be the big spoon...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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