Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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