THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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