whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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