im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
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Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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