No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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