She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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