Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
