I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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